Sunday, March 23, 2008

in need of a stiff drink

For whatever reason, I can't stop being anxious about everything. Literally everything. I couldn't go to bed until 4 o'clock this morning because I was absolutely convinced that if I went to bed at the usual time, something bad would happen. Never mind I don't know what that something is, it was something and it was bad. Had I not been so damn tired, I probably would have stayed up until sunrise, but exhaustion won out and I very reluctantly gave in to it.

Last night, I was so sure there was someone looking in at me through the crack in the blinds that I had to go window to window through the whole house and make sure all of them were closed, and there were no gaps. The broken blinds in the kitchen freaked me out so badly I couldn't even walk by it, I ran with my eyes shut tight.

What the fuck am I so fucking afraid of? I don't even know, myself.

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